Border Floaties, Border Drivers, Border Crisis

Thanks for Subscribing!

Hello friends,

It’s been a while since our last newsletter— we’ll explain the absence shortly.

Firstly, let’s talk about something that’s been on the mind lately as we all observe what’s been happening with the border of late.

Right now, the spotlight for the border crisis is deservedly upon the City of Eagle Pass in Maverick County. Like some kind of a fire, it is sucking all the oxygen out of the room, with many outlets examining and re-examining the feasibility, effectiveness, and morality of Governor Greg Abbott’s floating barrier of buoys and concertina wire.

Some of Governor Abbott’s “Floaties” Near Eagle Pass/Maverick County, July 18, 2023. Image Courtesy: Brandon Bell/Getty Images, via Newsweek

What you may or may not realize is that part of what’s driving this obsessive coverage is the simple seasonal lack of other news to cover. Without some other thing to cover during summer months, newsrooms will beat what they do have to death.

It happens every time, though of late it hasn’t been so noticeable because of a horrible surfeit of news the last few years. Between Trump and Robb Elementary School and the Border Crisis news crews have been able to almost escape the usual summertime blues.

When the Cavalry-Dispatch first began, there seemed to be some debate as to whether or not the Southern Border Crisis was even real. Regrettably, now, there no longer is. And so, folks who oppose any attempt to manage what has been up until now a disgrace, are now reduced to ridicule, semantics, and faux handwringing in their efforts to oppose what’s being done.

The buoys are derisively referred to as “Abbott’s floaties.” Or, the argument is that they’re a wasteful bit of spending that won’t truly fix anything. Or, we are told, they’re actually making matters worse.

For ourselves, “Abbott’s floaties,” as a phrase, is just too much fun to disappear. We love the words. Keep using them. As for whether or not they’ll truly fix anything— that’s a complicated proposition. It’s probably impossible to “fix” what’s happening, so long as the federal government is determined to continue doing its best to subtly encourage and subsidize the importation of Central and South Americans as well as anyone else wanting to make the trip. Anything done on the Rio Grande is simply an expensive play for time, until things can get sorted out federally.

It sometimes seems hard to know what is right and what is good from the interior of Kinney County, so far removed from Austin or Washington where so many decisions get made for reasons that are not always clearly expressed. Just look at the last legislative session and how so many border bills just seemed to go nowhere at all with no explanations but lots of speculation.

Consequently, when we find ourselves questioning things— like, “Are Governor Abbott’s floaties effective,” we find it useful to examine the behaviors of those opposing them as a useful indicator.

So far, the floaties seem to have provoked the strongest responses from the Federal Government and semi-hostile press so far, with what we’d call “curious” discoveries in State Trooper emails and complaints, and threats of federal lawsuits and investigations.

By that measure, one would have to reckon more floaties would be better, so faster please.

In Kinney County, not much has changed since we last were publishing regularly. Deputies continue to be run ragged, trying to stay on top of the smuggling. Yours truly has come to believe that most of the regular, routine smuggling coming through is something akin to an aggregate decoy. Collections of unconnected, ignorant drivers are simply hurled onto the highways to pick up low-value travelers and migrants— creating a constant buzz and hum of activity that mostly obscures the activities of more high value banditry.

Law enforcement will sometimes stumble upon outliers. All female loads. Loads being driven by guys with long criminal records. Loads where the drivers make very risky attempts to escape. Many actually do escape— either breaking contact with pursuit in the dark or crashing through so many ranch fences that Deputies and Troopers hesitate to follow closely for fear of running someone over or destroying their own vehicles.

One other thing that distinguishes some drivers from others: some of these guys escaping into the hinterlands are able to arrange for someone else to come along and pick them up that same night after they’ve escaped, indicating a network of support that most drivers and cash-hungry randoms simply don’t have access to. We’ll be taking a closer look at how this works soon.

You spend enough time thinking about these things and you find yourself eye-balling others in local stores in the most awkward of ways: “That stranger has a case of water in his cart. He’s not from here. Very sus.”

There are all kinds of legitimate reasons someone we don’t recognize could be in a local store buying large quantities of water and bread and lunch meat. But we find ourselves entertaining the real possibility that they’re smuggling illegals when we see them.

A steady state of low-grade paranoia is no way to live. But it’s where we’re at.

We mentioned our recent hiatus. It began with a summer storm some weeks ago that destroyed our home internet connection. It was about two weeks before we could get that rectified. We were able to mostly keep up with the job of course, but we didn’t want to use even publicly available internet to continue posting here in the interim.

It seemed improper.

And, two weeks was long enough for us to feel like three or four more might be even better.

So, here we are. Thank you’s to everyone that’s reached out during the interim and inquired after our status.

It wasn’t all fun and games— we spent a portion of the time feeling guilty about it.

But we also noticed that it was a lot easier to feel “good” about the state of things in general.

One has to recognize that those “good” feelings are mostly illusory— the result of willful ignorance, rather than any actual “good” developments.

Indeed— perennial favorite Todd Bensman— a border analyst, is describing the current situation between Austin and Washington and those darn floaties as a “cold war,” between State and Federal Governments. He points out that most of the would-be migrants turned back by DPS, know that all they have to do is slip past Texas Law Enforcement, and get themselves into the hands of Border Patrol, and they’re home free.

Strong words. But, we should not ignore that this represents a serious issue and potential schism. What happens next? And after that? And after that? And then? Could get scary friendos. What happens if the State of Texas finally decides to tell the Federal Government to remove all federal agents? Can the State do that? Should the State do that?

What’s the sequel to a border crisis going to look like?

Right now, many of the migrants “legally” crossing at the ports of entry are being placed in seemingly random communities all over the state and country.

Once placed, they’re told they cannot work. It would be illegal. If they’re law abiding, they sit and wait for their asylum hearings which could be as much as 2 or 3 years away. They’re supported by taxpayers. We’ve heard they get $700 a month in some locations. Plus free housing. And free medical care. And other cash and prizes.

It’s not actually all that much, if you’re the federal government and money is free. It’s also not that much if you’re the one relying on that $700 a month, thinking you’ve come to the land of milk and honey, so why is the milk and honey so damn expensive?

How long before you’re willing to get a little work on the side? Or just straight up enter the black market? Kinney County’s already seen its share of non-citizens returning to the border area as drivers.

Think about all those single, military-aged males that pictures and video have shown getting on board CBP’s chartered buses. How long are those guys going to be content to sit and spin, unable to legally work? Not long. Even if they’re not crooked and bent when they get here— circumstances will conspire enough that some will do what they have to do in order to supplement that $700 a month.

We are importing troubles that are almost impossible to predict in detail, even if it should be plain as day that it’s a national disgrace and a bad idea all around.

American taxpayers deserve better. People trying to migrate to the US deserve better. Mexico deserves better. The communities hosting these populations deserve better. What’s going to happen when patience runs thin in some of these places and the “five finger discount” becomes the preferred means of acquisition?

We’re all in such a mess that semi-performative acts like Abbott’s floaties are some of the only things disruptive enough to demonstrate the cupidity of the Federal Government in facilitating this crisis. What’s immoral? An avoidable barrier? Or waving people into a strange, twilight existence that will only lead to tears?

Whoever’s dreaming this stuff up— the floaties, the migrant deliveries to New York, Chicago, and Martha’s Vineyard— keep it up. Keep doing it. Absurdity has become weaponized in a time where other forms of protest seem to have been neutralized.

As always, this newsletter is produced as separately as possible from our day job, handling public information requests on behalf of Kinney County.

Have a great day everyone, we’ll be back again soon enough— next week, unless something really special happens.

Until then, stay hydrated. The weather’s so hot, we’ve been seeing articles online advising people to flee the state. So precious.